


the sky is laughing at you, dumbass, and so am i

by mjolnirdork



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Comfort, Comfort No Hurt, Domestic, Fluff, No Angst, No Plot/Plotless, No Smut, They're In Love Your Honor, and ooooh snow, but - Freeform, charlotte is a badass, charted has Rights, different, i'm sorry nick lang but i make the rules, it's basically a coffeeshop fic, let them be happy, ted is a simp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:21:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27351886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mjolnirdork/pseuds/mjolnirdork
Summary: it's snowing. ted hates snow. charlotte loves it. ted loves charlotte.
Relationships: Charlotte/Ted (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 16





	the sky is laughing at you, dumbass, and so am i

**Author's Note:**

> hey so it started snowing last night and my soul just yeeted itself into ted mode and so here we are also this is soft as fuck because They Deserve It <3

The snow came early this year, the day after Halloween, the full moon, and the mysterious disappearance of some nurse from the hospital. It was a day to forget, a day to move along, and Hatchetfield was exceptionally good at it. 

For two specific hopeless inhabitants, however, the first blizzard was the catastrophe of the year, and nothing else could possibly top it.

“Oh you  _ motherFUCKER--” _

“TED!”

The aforementioned stopped shaking his fist at the falling snow to toss a dirty look to his companion, who stood just as helpless as he did at the current state of events and quite possibly much more composed. Her gaze of condemnation didn’t let up as she crossed her oversized sweater arms, but a slight smirk rested where a horrified gasp was just a few minutes ago, in spite of itself. The effect was probably intended to strike fear, but whether it succeeded or not is another story entirely. 

“The hell you glaring at me for?” Ted demanded, flapping his hands dramatically at the flurries of white around them as they walked to his car. “Look at this! This! This white shit coming down without permission! This is  _ disrespectful. _ ” He pointed to innocent flakes making their way down in a fit of righteous fury, all of it completely justified and all of it completely unfounded. “Of all the days. Honestly. God cursed us before we did it to ourselves. Look. Char, look.” He stifled a wide grin in favor of stamping moronically on the fallen snow, being mad as all hell. 

“I can see, Ted,” Charlotte giggled, turning her head to gaze at the steady fall of snow, her feet crunching softly on what had landed. “It’s not that bad, sweetie. And, I dunno, don’t you think it makes everything look kinda pretty?”

“It’s cold! I didn’t bring a coat! There is nothing pretty about me freezing my ass off at work, Charlotte!”

“Well,” Charlotte attempted to console, “you would have a nice view to die by, right?” 

“I’ll be  _ dead! _ ” Ted finally ceased his impromptu rant and straightened himself, eyes crinkled up as he fished for his keys. “Also, you talking about death is extremely scary. And hot.” He flinched in advance as Charlotte whacked him up the head with her purse. 

“Ted…” she shook her head resignedly and decided to look up at the greying sky, which didn’t show any signs of letting up any time soon. “Sometimes I don’t know why I put up with you.” 

Ted moved to open the passenger side door of his clunky sedan, taking advantage of the proximity to lean into Charlotte, his mustache tickling her neck as he muttered huskily, “I know why.”

“For God’s sake, Ted!” But she got into the car smiling. 

They left the empty CCRP building, tires squelching cautiously as Ted pulled out of his parking space, then out of the lot, then onto the road. Charlotte pressed her face to the window, eyes gleaming at the glittering snow piling by the minute. 

“I love this time of year.”

“I love y-- uh, not being fucking cold all the damn time.”

They drove into downtown, which seemed to be even quieter in the flurries. Charlotte kept staring out the window. Ted occasionally looked at the road. 

“So, uh,” Ted started, running a spare hand through his hair in an attempt to look good. It sort of worked. “Do you wanna go to your apartment? Mine?” The car sped up as it passed the Hatchetfield police station. Charlotte didn’t seem to notice. Her recently empty ring finger was resting on the windowsill with the rest of her left hand. 

“Hmm?” She didn’t register it till a couple seconds later. “Oh! Beanies.”

“B-” Ted nearly face planted into the steering wheel. “That’s all the way back across work.”

“Ohh. I’m sorry baby, I didn’t realize. You just asked me now,” Charlotte shrugged innocently. “Your apartment then. Mine… mine feels too new.” 

She didn’t draw much attention to how suddenly her back was straight, or how her hands were instantly folded politely in her lap, and she didn’t need to. Ted saw it. And he instantly did a U-turn and drove a little faster as they headed back the way they came. 

Charlotte bit her lip. “Oh, uh, it’s.. it’s okay, you don’t have to- I wasn’t thinking-”

“Hey, I wanna.” Ted gave her a lopsided smile, taking her hand in his free one. His smile grew a bit bigger as their hands interlocked. “Mmkay? I wanna. Deal with it.”

“Oh- okay.”

It was coming on pretty thick as Ted parked in front of the small coffee shop, the two of them getting out in snow already past their feet to shuffle inside.

“Hey, welcome to Beanies, what can I getcha?” 

“Okay, okay, Erika, it’s just us, you can drop the company vibe,” Ted replied, tugging Charlotte along to approach the grouchy barista at the counter. “You’re too cute for that shit anyway.”

Emma flipped him off and greeted Charlotte on the side. “Say that to my boss, ‘Koffski.” 

Ted instantly lifted his chest and attempted to yell far into the back of the room. “Hey Emily’s boss, you’re too cute for this shit anyway--”

“ _ No _ .” Emma gave him a death glare, tapping the counter. “Get something or get out, pal.”

“I see why Paul likes you, Erin.” Ted turned to Charlotte, gesturing at the menu. “What’ll you have, babe?”

Charlotte, who had been blissfully ignoring the friendly fire, broke out of her trance, grinning awkwardly. “Ah, me now. Uhm… A latte?”

Emma jotted this down. “Just a latte? No extra pumps or anything?”

“Hmmm… surprise me?” Charlotte was hesitant as she asked, then dropped her shoulders in relief as Emma nodded. 

“Awesome. And for you, jerkface?” That was to Ted, who just beamed radiantly. 

“A French Vanilla, extra chocolate, and some  _ hot _ stuff.” He winked, clearly not referring to edible consumption.

“Great, I’ll put some arsenic in for flavor, good to know.” Emma rang up their purchase and retreated to the back to make their orders. “Get comfortable, it’ll be a sec.” 

An empty table was in reach, so they slid onto the chairs, looking around. Charlotte waved eagerly to Alice and her girlfriend, Deb, who were on the opposite side with stacks of papers spread in front of them. Ted casually acknowledged the pair and stared out the window. 

“This snow out here again ruining everyone’s mornings. It has no right, the little fucker.”

“Now that isn’t nice, sweetheart.” Charlotte propped her chin up on her hand, watching Ted. 

“It’s not nice. Mean cold fluff sticks to everything. Nasty. Bastard weather.”

“You’re a bastard, Ted.”

“Hey, at least I know when I’m wanted.” 

It might have been cold outside, but Charlotte’s face was warm for a long time. 

The radio was playing some soft melodramatic pop song, and for once, everything seemed calm. Aside from the teens, the homeless dude huddled by a vent for warmth, and a guy feeding some nuts to a weird looking squirrel, they were all by themselves. It was nice. Really nice. Hell, the snow added a nice touch if they ignored it for a moment.

“What’s on your mind?”

  
He didn’t realize his hand was still in hers until Charlotte gave it a gentle squeeze, and he smiled. Again. There were a lot of those these days, on both of their faces, but neither commented on why. The novelty was waiting to be tarnished.

What Ted would’ve said will remain a mystery, because then the door swung open, and another voice came loud, clear, and authoritative through the swirling wind and inside. 

“Zoey in?”

This time they both stiffened.

Emma’s boss took the question. “She’s out, Sam. Think you should be too.” Her eyes darted to a quietly shaking Charlotte to the side and an equally resentful Ted, then narrowed back at the newcomer.

Sam shrugged. “Alright, thought I’d ask.” 

A painful silence hung on the little shop, til Emma came out with “latte with raspberry pump for Charlotte, mocha latte with extra chocolate and chili flakes for Ted,” slamming the two drinks on the counter before disappearing again. The silence continued as Charlotte eventually stood up and walked to the counter, hand gripping Ted’s tightly. He squeezed back and glanced at Sam dead in the eye. 

“That’s us,” he said flatly, gesturing for Sam to move out of the way. 

“Fancy meeting you two here.” He stepped out and waited til Charlotte got her latte and passed Ted his. “So babe, you planning on coming back home?” 

Suddenly the blizzard seemed like perfect timing, as the drifts would’ve perfectly covered Sam’s sorry carcass, freshly murdered in the middle of Beanies. Nobody in the building would’ve objected. It seemed like the only possible solution, but Charlotte merely held on to Ted’s hand and her drink.

“Oh Sam, I wouldn’t ever step back in that sleazy place if you paid me to clean it.” Her smile could’ve cut iron.    
“And, well. You never did.” 

She took a sip of her latte, her grip relaxing from Ted’s as Sam stammered something incoherent in response and turned to leave in defeat. Her smile didn’t come back, but her eyes twinkled in pride. 

“Holy shit.” Ted whistled lowly, replaying the last five minutes in his head. “Char, that was…  _ hot. _ ”

Charlotte ignored the acknowledgement in favor of lowering her cup, hand a little unsteady. She glanced at the drink, and then back at the baristas working in the back. “Emma, this is really good! Thank you!” she hollered, sticking her hand in her purse. 

She pulled out a ten dollar bill and dropped it into the tip jar. Her hand was still in Ted’s, giving it a softer squeeze.

“Let’s go home?” 

The doorbell of the coffee shop jingled as they left, a bit of wind rushing past them as they held onto their drinks and got back to the car. Ted scuffed the snow away from the windows, occasionally turning to glance at Charlotte watching the snow fall. 

“Looking good, babe,” he commented, climbing into the driver’s seat.

“You look wet.”

“I am. Damn snow. It’s not even Thanksgiving, like that’s when you actually want this shit around, not the first day of another fucking month.” 

Charlotte looked bemused as she finished her drink. “You’re making fun. You love it, don’t you?”

“I love--” He stopped himself in time again. “Whatever, Charlotte.”

She didn’t smile as they pulled out and drove to Ted’s apartment, but she did come close.

The snow finally stopped coming in at large by the time they made it to Ted’s apartment, Charlotte seated at the window to watch the street basked in fields of white. Ted rummaged for something resembling a dinner in the fridge, mumbling the song on the radio.

“Ted?”

“Yeah.”

“What if I stayed here?”

“Ow!” He rammed his head into the top of the fridge. “You mean it?”   
“Well of course, baby, you don’t expect me to walk back in this snow, now do you?” Charlotte paused, then continued in a quieter voice. “I can do it, if you want...”

“Stay.” Ted had pulled his head out of the fridge and dropped whatever he was holding onto the table. “Please?”

Charlotte was silent for a while. Then she smiled.

“I love you, Ted.” 

She probably would’ve said more if Ted hadn’t instantly strode all the way from the kitchen to where she was and swept her up in a tight hug, lifting her up and spinning her around. 

“ _ Thank fucking God for this snow. _ ”

“Wait, what--”

“Love you too, Char.”

The snow came early this year, and they would always remember it.

**Author's Note:**

> please gim validation i can't be the only one who would die for these two


End file.
